The Oven from Hades!!!!

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to allow me to completely, utterly, and totally lose my religion!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have spent the last two hours with my oversized head, my oversized arms, and my oversized behind stuck inside of, underneath, and in front of my oven. I merely needed to replace the oven ignitor. Its a breeze Youtube says. Anyone can do it Youtube says. Its a five minute job Youtube says. Youtube is a big fat liar!!!

NOTHING about my oven is like the supposed "same model #" in the how to video. NOTHING lines up. NOTHING is accessible. NOTHING looks the same. NOTHING about the video was in the least bit helpful except for the fact that at each and every step I was reminded that there was NOTHING about my oven that even remotely resembled the one IN THE VIDEO!

Not one to be easily deterred, I trudged on. I bent, twisted, tweaked, and torqued each and every component off and out and spent twice as much time merely trying to get those same parts back where they came from when I was done. Simple? Not a chance! Why you ask? Because the ignitor I took out of my oven looks absolutely NOTHING like the ignitor I just put IN my oven! BUT I am assured that this is indeed the right ignitor for my oven! It not only looks different, it installs at a different angle. Why is this important? Because it threw each and every component I took out off by JUST enough to make putting said components back in slightly more difficult than sending man to the moon, slightly.

Being the intrepid do it yourselfer I trudged on. Two hours into my simple five minute job, I was done. Was my heart filled with satisfaction and happy thoughts about puppies and butterflies? Do I hear the theme song to Rocky echoing in my brain? Not a chance. Why you ask again? Because Murphy's Law is the bane of my existence. If I could in fact find Mr. Murphy, I'd shoot him dead and bury his body in my back yard. Why would anyone make up such a terrible thing! Sadly I cannot locate Mr. Murphy. Its his lucky day. But I digress.

My two hour ordeal is complete. My oven restored to working order I pray. I hit the button. The ignitor ignites!!! I can see its warm and hopeful glow. I hear the valve on the gas open. I remember that I read the gas would not come on if the ignitor did not reach a sufficient temperature. My hopes perk up ever so slightly but it is not to be. Murphy has quashed my hopes yet again. The ignitor ignites. The gas gasses. The oven does not oven. For some reason (I have my thoughts on this) the RED HOT ignitor is not actually igniting said gas that is gassing.

I strive with every fiber of my being not to curse my oven into the bowels of Hades and am forced to restrain myself from finding the nearest explosive material and exploding my oven into eternity. The oven is safe for now but I make no promises.

I want to thank my dear sweet wife for her words of uplift and encouragement when she says "remember dear, you really are a Murphy, not a Mauldin". AAARRRGGGHHH!!! 

Have I mentioned that Youtube LIES? If any of you happen to hear a loud explosion just south of 24th Street, have no fear. Its just me completely losing my cool and sending this cursed oven back to the bowels of Hades where it belongs.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog post now in session. Carry on!


:-)